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"I've always wondered, do light years have half the calories of regular years?"

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

The wind catches Congressman Blowviatt's jerkin.

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Torturing the English Language

How to make crocodiles cry. . .Living wage proposal.

The Jose Padilla Experience

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

Fifty shades of Leveson.

Backtrack! A game of Political Undoing

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

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