Cosmic Storyteller T-Shirts

Crouching God Hidden Buddha

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

"…and still a bit stormy in the south."

"Shoulda brought the weed."

"See, the director's cut of the universe is at least two billion years older than our own."

"Say - it's over a month since we last told the press we've observed a strange object we've never seen before."

"At this point cosmology leaves off, and folklore kicks in."

"We've worked for free for the last time! . . ."

Star consolation

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"We only got six days of funding."

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Eat my dust!"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Local News in Heaven

Phoenix

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

How Glaciations Begin

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

Santa CGI Effect

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

"'Let's try the shrink ray!' you said, 'what could possibly go wrong?', you said."

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

Sun and the Moon step out.

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'NASA is never going to believe this!'

"Gee, I just wish I had the words to describe this scene to you fellows back on earth...!"

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

What happens on Noah's Ark stays on Noah's Ark.

'They wanna know how many we seen tonight. How many you seen, Roy?' 'Well, here's quite a few tonight, Carl.'