Cosmic Storytellers T-Shirts

12 billion years ago...4 billion years ago.

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

Local News in Heaven

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

How Glaciations Begin

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

"'Let's try the shrink ray!' you said, 'what could possibly go wrong?', you said."

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

"Shoulda brought the weed."

Sun and the Moon step out.

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'They wanna know how many we seen tonight. How many you seen, Roy?' 'Well, here's quite a few tonight, Carl.'

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

'NASA is never going to believe this!'

"Gee, I just wish I had the words to describe this scene to you fellows back on earth...!"

Pentagon Science Contest: 'It's already an intergalactic spaceship that was sent here over a million years ago.'

"This plaque shows nine planets, but their transmissions say their system has eight."

Crouching God Hidden Buddha

The Raven - The Study at Night

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

"So much for eternal rest."

James Earl Jones

Expanding Sun engulfs Planets

Robot Beggar

"I've made a discovery about our universe! It turns out you aren't the center of it Tim."

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

Madeleine L'Engle

The dark side of the moon