Cosmic Storytellers Gifts

12 billion years ago...4 billion years ago.

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

Local News in Heaven

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

How Glaciations Begin

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

"'Let's try the shrink ray!' you said, 'what could possibly go wrong?', you said."

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

"Shoulda brought the weed."

Alien characters on boy's wallpaper come to life to play with him.

Sun and the Moon step out.

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

'They wanna know how many we seen tonight. How many you seen, Roy?' 'Well, here's quite a few tonight, Carl.'

"Gee, I just wish I had the words to describe this scene to you fellows back on earth...!"

'NASA is never going to believe this!'

Oops! Maybe we better make the chicken first.

Pentagon Science Contest: 'It's already an intergalactic spaceship that was sent here over a million years ago.'

"This plaque shows nine planets, but their transmissions say their system has eight."

Crouching God Hidden Buddha

Robot Beggar

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

James Earl Jones

Expanding Sun engulfs Planets

"So much for eternal rest."

The Raven - The Study at Night

"I've made a discovery about our universe! It turns out you aren't the center of it Tim."

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"This is about life on another planet."

'She loved me...'