Stellar Story-teller Gifts

"You're always in a bad mood when you visit."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

Local News in Heaven

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

How Glaciations Begin

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

"'Let's try the shrink ray!' you said, 'what could possibly go wrong?', you said."

"Shoulda brought the weed."

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

Sun and the Moon step out.

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

Pentagon Science Contest: 'It's already an intergalactic spaceship that was sent here over a million years ago.'

"Gee, I just wish I had the words to describe this scene to you fellows back on earth...!"

'NASA is never going to believe this!'

'They wanna know how many we seen tonight. How many you seen, Roy?' 'Well, here's quite a few tonight, Carl.'

"This plaque shows nine planets, but their transmissions say their system has eight."

Crouching God Hidden Buddha

Robot Beggar

The Big Drip Theory of the Universe

James Earl Jones

"So much for eternal rest."

Expanding Sun engulfs Planets

"I've made a discovery about our universe! It turns out you aren't the center of it Tim."

Madeleine L'Engle

"Drop by the next time you're in the eighties."