Galactic Storyteller T-Shirts

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"We only got six days of funding."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

"Eat my dust!"

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'Which one is named after me?'

Local News in Heaven

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

How Glaciations Begin

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, in all the solar systems, in all the galaxies, in all the universe, she walks into mine.

Sisyphus visits Stowe

Phoenix

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

Santa CGI Effect

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

"'Let's try the shrink ray!' you said, 'what could possibly go wrong?', you said."

Alien characters on boy's wallpaper come to life to play with him.

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

"Shoulda brought the weed."

Sun and the Moon step out.

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"Are there space-babes?"

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'