Intergalactic Storyteller T-Shirts

Zapped Spaceship.

'Nice little planet you've got here - How'd you like to make sure nothing HAPPENS to it?'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

Marry me astronaut

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Take me to your mechanic."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

Local News in Heaven

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

How Glaciations Begin

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

Christmas on Other Planets.

"Let's f**k up Mars!"

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

"'Let's try the shrink ray!' you said, 'what could possibly go wrong?', you said."

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

Alien characters on boy's wallpaper come to life to play with him.

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'