Intergalactic Storyteller Gifts

Zapped Spaceship.

'Nice little planet you've got here - How'd you like to make sure nothing HAPPENS to it?'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

Marry me astronaut

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Take me to your mechanic."

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Alien embryo growing in earth.

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

Local News in Heaven

How Glaciations Begin

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

"'Let's try the shrink ray!' you said, 'what could possibly go wrong?', you said."

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Shoulda brought the weed."