Intergalactic Traveler Gifts

"Hold that thought. I have to go take a number five."

"When you add up how much it costs for fuel, supplies, and getting a sitter, it doesn't seem worth it to invade Earth."

3C-Keep Your Eye On The Road

'My skills travel well.'

"Remember everybody, this is planet Earth, so whatever you do, don't drink the water!"

'Zylo, you know there's a leash law on this planet!'

"I hate to blow the place up, but it's way out of compliance with Galactic standards."

You Are Here.

"Did you bring more cars?"

'Where no man has gone before' on the ladies' toilets.

Spaceman (outside his ship) looking at aliens on a planet.

'What do you mean my policy does not cover for this sort of thing!'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Are we nearly there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"The only planet within a radius of 8975 light years . . . you're simply unable to back into a parking space!"

"Take me to your mechanic."

What NASA is not telling us...

I'm not sure I'm in the right Thursday night encounter group.

'I'd like to give a break but you were doing 186,000 miles per second!'

'Hiya, spaceman.'

"Here is your new planet."

Man entering spaceship is asked for his passport

'Good afternoon, Earthling -- I represent the 'Encyclopedia Galactica,' and....'

'I love visiting Earth; it's the only place you can still play proper air guitar.'

'If anybody's gotta go, this is the time to speak up.'

'Ooohhh, that one's got purple in it.'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Okay, let's make it a quick in and out — we don't want Larry King interviewing us.'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

The good news is that the 'Cow-Ray' has done minimal damge to the ship, captain!...

Alien has his flying saucer tires stolen on the bad side of town.

Christmas on Other Planets.

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Let's f**k up Mars!"