Interplanetary Traveler Gifts

'Don't tell me you've got another moon rock in your shoe!'

"With the whole world in NATO, we won't have to take any more crap from Mars."

"Methane's a bit heavy, today."

Boss, I'm one of the finalists for Mars One! I'll be going to Mars on a one-way trip. Excellent. On Mars, you'll have only the air and food you bring with you. That won't last long. To survive long-term you'll have to plant vast gardens to feed you and replenish your oxygen. You'll be toiling and slaving for no money at all. I should never tell you anything. I'll stop paying you, to help you get used to that.

Talking to an alien: '...And you won't believe the house prices!'

'I wouldn't mind going to the moon as long as I was back by tea time...'

'When you take a vacation to get away, you really get away!'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

How am I abducting?

"Take me to your mechanic."

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

There is No Planet C

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

Parking meter on the moon.

"Wow! You do have a triple A membership!"

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

An alien dog hangs its head out the flying saucer.

We've got to move closer to work. These 200 light year commutes are killing me.

Christmas on Other Planets.

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

A Space Walk

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."