Space Traveler Gifts

'Houston, we have a problem.'

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

"Oh come on mate. I thought you said that you'd done the knowledge!"

So much for the ol' green cheese theory.

'Be home by eleven and stay away from earth!! All that place is good for is fighting and killing!!'

Aging Aliens

'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

'Watch your first step - gravity is the law on this planet!'

We've got to move closer to work. These 200 light year commutes are killing me.

'It's very nice to meet you. Gavin tells me that you're from Venus...'

Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy: (Hitchhiker outside holding up sign to Uranus.)

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

Recalculating!

"Poop. I forgot my coffee mug was on the roof of the saucer."

'Better keep away from Earth. Remember what we were told about those speed cameras?'

I Brake For Asteroids

"Sir! Our operative has initiated the first stage of the destruction of the Earth!"

"Can we keep it, daddy?"

'What do you mean you're only human?? That's no excuse for running a red light!!'

"We need to tell your leaders: It's not just global warming, it's galaxy warming!"

Alien Luggage

"There's a co-pay."

"Don't worry; I'm sure these Earthlings will welcome us with open arms..."

'There you go - I told you to watch out for that big portal in the middle of the road!'

'Honey, looks like we just won a free trip.'

Ash tray landing site

"Travel book says do not land on Earth unless you have your own health insurance."

"Oh, don't worry, we just find this planet hilarious."

"I've traveled billions of light-years and visited countless planets. Earth is the only place I can't get a signal."

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Yeah, it works, but you still shouldn't have forgotten the flag!"

"We should avoid contact. The careless penmanship is troubling."

"What do you mean our ground lease is up?"

Branson space shot