Spacetime Traveler Gifts

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Meet the scribe"

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"We're following Carrot Top."

The Missing Sock Returns

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

Second hand furniture.

E=mc2.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

How am I abducting?

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Sundial Time

Time for vacation, time for work.

"Early model of baggage claim"

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"I don't know who you are!"