Cosmic Narrator Pillows

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

Chiller Theatre

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Clown God

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

Zenemies.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'You caught it, you gut it!'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"