Cosmic Environmentalist Gifts

"No Littering" sign in space.

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Outer Space Outsourcing

Alien David statue

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Chiller Theatre

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

Zenemies.

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

65 Million Years Ago

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

How life on Earth really got its start.

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

Newton's Cradle Solar System

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

Questions

God with Earth Controller

"Uh-oh - climate change."

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

Couple stargazing: 'Now a word from our sponsor...'

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."