Comedic Environmentalist Gifts

"That is cave bear. Free range bear better ethical choice."

"They're nice, but not as efficient as my coal-powered chimes."

Petrol for Regular and Large cars.

It's not Global Warming silly: I bought a plastic plant...

"Gavin is a bit conflicted when it comes to barbecuing."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'Been waiting long?'

Zoo: No Hunting.

Winter Weather.

'Now cut that out!'

Recycling bottle bank.

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

Hunter with arrow pointing at him.

Genetic Fingerprinting.

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

This is where Brent council sends you

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

Trump to Build Wall

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

"If Einstein is correct, when we get back, my car will have been double parked for 320 years."