Comedic Activist Gifts

'I like to do my bit for the environment.'

'He's supposed to be an animal rights supporter but he'll talk the hind legs off a donkey!'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

Pop up begger.

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

Jumble Sale

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

"It's nice to see you expressing yourselves, but what you need to focus on what's good for the whole group!"

"Gavin is a bit conflicted when it comes to barbecuing."

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."