Cosmic Artist Gifts

Bowling ball earth

Alien David statue

Still life on Mars.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Houston, we have a problem."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

Boptimism

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Clown God

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

The Origins of Everything

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Science fiction fans on other planets

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."