Cosmic Performer Gifts

"Did you hear something?"

No Air Guitar

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

Alien David statue

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Houston, we have a problem."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

Boptimism

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'Gravity...Go figure!'

The Adventures of God

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

Michael Jackson.

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

The Origins of Everything

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

Science fiction fans on other planets

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'