Divine Performer Gifts

"If I were a carpenter"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

"This is off our first TikTok."

"Beware of God"

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Angel doing the hula hoop.

Sir Patrick Moore.

"They have to clean her up before they show her to God."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

'Telling me He works in mysterious ways!'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"Hey guys, here's one I wrote about the loneliness of Lockdown."

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

A angel wearing a helmet poised to throw a football down from heaven.

Snake listening to music on headphones.

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

"I'm thinking seven days and I'll do it in real time."

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

"Is he the God of the Old or the New Testament this morning?"

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'