Cosmic Critic Gifts

First Cynic in Space

Your daily horoscope.

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

'I feel like watching something trashy tonight. Let's check out Earth.'

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

Chiller Theatre

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Zenemies.

65 Million Years Ago

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"We evolved from asteroids"

How life on Earth really got its start.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

Coronavirus

Newton's Cradle Solar System

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

Questions

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

"Uh-oh - climate change."

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

Couple stargazing: 'Now a word from our sponsor...'

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."