Cosmic Satirist Gifts

'I wasn't supposed to stay, but then I got hooked on these things.'

The Black Hole Commission

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Houston, we have a problem."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Not now, Oliver."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'