Cosmic Satirist Pillows

'I wasn't supposed to stay, but then I got hooked on these things.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'You caught it, you gut it!'

Clown God

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Not now, Oliver."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."