Celestial Satirists Pillows

Thus saith the Lord to Earth: 'Thou art cancelled!'

'Now they want to know what you've done for them SINCE the Big Bang.'

'You owe income tax, social security tax, and of course, death tax.'

Priest's 'To do' list.

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Water is discovered on the moon....

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'Those are the Divinity students.'

'Even More Disciples'

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."