Celestial Satire Pillows

"Are you even listening? I'm an arch-angel. There's no such thing as an investor angel!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Water is discovered on the moon....

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Those are the Divinity students.'

Shoe repair

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

"No it's fine, really. I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

Heaven

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

Life on cloud 8

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

"Sometimes I miss a good smiting."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

New Years Reolutions

Angel Crash

"Is there anybody there?"

The Dark Side of the Moon.

"It's about all the treasure laid up here."

'Your better half isn't up here... It seems you were the better half.'

'I miss the evildoers.'