Celestial Comedy Pillows

Halo Repair

My getting here was a very close call.

Angel sells lightning bolts.

Shoe repair

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Water is discovered on the moon....

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

Halo Frisbee.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'Those are the Divinity students.'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

Heaven

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."