Celestial Comedic Pillows

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Water is discovered on the moon....

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

Halo Frisbee.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Shoe repair

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."