Celestial Humor Fans Pillows

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

"Good game."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Water is discovered on the moon....

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'Those are the Divinity students.'

Shoe repair

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

Heaven

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

Life on cloud 8

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

"Sometimes I miss a good smiting."