Celestial Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

'He's still in his probationary period.'

"Good game."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Water is discovered on the moon....

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

Shoe repair

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Heaven

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

Life on cloud 8

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

"Sometimes I miss a good smiting."

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

New Years Reolutions

"It's about all the treasure laid up here."

"It's not just you, Reverend, we make it clear to everyone, we don't want any trouble up here."