Celestial Humor Lover Pillows

Survey results: 9 out of 10 angels feel that dancing on the head of a pin is demeaning and potentially quite hazardous.

"Wait. Don't look. O.K., over my left shoulder-is that God?"

You don't need to say "now I've seen everything" all the time. We get the whole omniscient thing.

"Good game."

'-and I'll tell you something else-it beats playing the harp!'

Ted’s Cloud

Flight Insurance for Angels.

Move Over

Guardian angels sometimes fight over what to watch over.

'Thank you for contacting The Pearly Gates. Your call may be monitored for training purposes...'

'Security! Illegal aliens at the rear entrance.'

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"Oh for heaven's sake, Jane! You can't spend the rest of eternity doing your wordle!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Water is discovered on the moon....

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."