Celestial Humor Fans Gifts

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

'Your halo didn't slip. You've got ring around the collar.'

"Good game."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Water is discovered on the moon....

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Shoe repair

Heaven

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

Life on cloud 8

"Sometimes I miss a good smiting."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."