Celestial Comedy Fans Gifts

"Son, why don't you switch to my shampoo and conditioner?"

'I didn't expect Paradise to be so literal...'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Halo Frisbee.

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

Shoe repair

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

'Anything good on tonight?'

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

'Thirty-two feet per second squared, eh? -- that should hold them for awhile!:

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"