Celestial Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

God to Plumber at Heaven's Gates: 'You were supposed to show up last Tuesday.'

'What's with all the politicians suddenly getting struck by lightning?'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Water is discovered on the moon....

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

Halo Frisbee.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'Those are the Divinity students.'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Shoe repair

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

Heaven