Celestial Comedy Lover Gifts

"Sorry, bub. You're not database."

"No, not today. Something's come up."

Sweeping the Earth Under the Rug.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'Just to make it crystal clear, I AM holier than thou.'

'Me? Twinkling? -- I thought YOU were twinkling.'

'Eddy, why don't you go an get yourself a halo that fits?'

"I never knew we got to choose argon or neon!"

"Oh, yes, he's bad. But in a good way."

'Of course He never listens - He's OMNISCIENT!'

'It was a split decision.'

"I was afraid to fly when I was mortal, and I'm afraid to fly now."

"Any requests?"

"Just sit tight, we're checking a couple things. . ."

"It's not my imagination, you are putting on weight, Fiona."

How Angels Get Their Wings

A planet like ours - "What?! I'm going to be a mayfly again?!"

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'Oh, great...I'm having a bad halo day and the boss decides to walk by.'

"God lives in the eternal present. The gift that keeps on giving."

'Pssst! Interested in some deviled eggs?'

'I hope I still get a full hour for lunch.'

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

"Wow Jesus, you don't look anything like your pictures."

'Honestly, Larry - you need to lose some weight.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

A comb-over just doesn't work with a halo.

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

I agree it's kind of sad...but it was just a matter of time.

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Hey, great death!"

"No! Bless you!"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."