Cosmic Comedy Lover Gifts

As meteor approaches couple with flat tire: 'At least nothing else can go wrong!'

"He's really good. He's a omnipotent beig that has existed before time and the universe, plus he used to play tennis."

Man Reading story 'U.F.O. Sighted' with alien peeking over his shoulder.

"Captain...I'm detecting Hemorrhoids off our starboard bow."

"You're being sued for cause."

"It is called A Night to Remember. It portrays a ritual mating dance from the early 21st-century."

"I wish I had a heavenly body."

"You're going to have to get rid of that uniform."

'Can you believe it? - This hayseed doesn't even know which GALAXY we're in!'

'I've been predicting a sudden death next week for all my clients lately: Funny hey?!'

Alien about to shoot person

'Congratulations, Commander Z'blug -- your Michael Jackson project was a complete success!'

Sid's favourite hen was so broody, she tried to hatch out a meteorite.

Alien throwing out astronaut with the rubbish.

'...and that's a lovely ball played into space by the midfielder!'

'... 'Pickoff'?... No... 'Ground out'? ... No...'

Humans and aliens have discovered planet at same time. Awkward!

I just edited your Wikipedia entry. Whoopty doo. Tap tap tap tap tap. You'll be happy to know you are no longer the last of your kind, Sadie. Astronomers have discovered another supermassive black hole that expels nearly as much hot air as you do. You're now listed under "oppressive objects that burp out galactic gas." I will exact revenge at a time and place of my choosing.

"Darth, you are the father!"

"Good game."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

I catched a star for someone I love: you.

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'