Cosmic Comedy Fan Gifts

'Ooh, look! A shooting star. Make a wish.'

Heaven Security Checks.

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

'I found twelve hostile life forms. Several of them are fairly close to you.'

Extraterrestrials Watchers Club.

'I come from. . . URANUS!'

"My tectonic plates itch!"

First encounters of the awkward kind.

"Thank you, guys! Finally I don't have to spend Christmas with the annoying family."

Parallel Universe Parking

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"Don't be sad, Bud. These decisions are so political."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

First Contact

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Ready. Aim. Pew! Pew!"

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

"With the whole world in NATO, we won't have to take any more crap from Mars."

"It is called A Night to Remember. It portrays a ritual mating dance from the early 21st-century."

"Thank you earthlings, without your space junk we would be nothing."

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

'Can you believe it? - This hayseed doesn't even know which GALAXY we're in!'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

'I've had a toothache for the last million light years, take me to your dentist.'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

"I Can't Dance... The Doctor Accidentally Gave Me Two Left Feet!"

Man Reading story 'U.F.O. Sighted' with alien peeking over his shoulder.

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

"Be realistic, how can lumps of rock zooming around in space affect our lives down here?"

"What am I, chopped liver?"

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'