Cosmic Satire Lover Gifts

"I support a monstrous ideology of hate."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

Vampire on a plane

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

"The physicists doubt it, the chemists want to change it, the psychologists are trying to interpret it and the biologists don't care."

First Contact

"With the whole world in NATO, we won't have to take any more crap from Mars."

'Can you believe it? - This hayseed doesn't even know which GALAXY we're in!'

"Thank you earthlings, without your space junk we would be nothing."

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

"We're a pharmaceutical company. We should be getting 'pharm' subsidies."

"It is called A Night to Remember. It portrays a ritual mating dance from the early 21st-century."

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"And these soya beans were engineered using Human DNA."

'Mr. Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy, and have come to one conclusion: Stick to physics.'

"Wait! First, his attorney."

"I'm not sure...I think the animals have been acting differently since we started feeding them that genetically modified stuff!"

Man Reading story 'U.F.O. Sighted' with alien peeking over his shoulder.

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."

'STOP! You're injecting the wrong GMO gene!'

"Be realistic, how can lumps of rock zooming around in space affect our lives down here?"

"What am I, chopped liver?"

Space Shuttle.

'Well, it is the complete works of Shakespeare all right, however this pig is claiming he wrote it.'

R and D for a Pharmaceutical company

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"...but that equals 243 Earth days!"

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

Grown for Flavour