Celestial Humor Aficionado Gifts

"What about change? Do you have any change in your pockets?"

"I hate moulting season."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Water is discovered on the moon....

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

Halo Frisbee.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Heaven

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"