Lover Of Celestial Humor Gifts

'It's no big deal. Most of them are posthumous.'

"Are you sure you're in the right place?"

"Good game."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Water is discovered on the moon....

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'Those are the Divinity students.'

Heaven

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

Life on cloud 8

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

"Sometimes I miss a good smiting."

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

New Years Reolutions