Celestial Humor Gifts

New Years Reolutions

'I wonder if I still get my senior citizen's discount.'

Uh-Oh...

'I'm happy for eternity, but I still miss happy hour.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

Water is discovered on the moon....

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Halo Frisbee.

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

Shoe repair

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

Climbing to the moon

Heaven

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."