Celestial Humor Seekers Gifts

"Do you have anything with a view of God?"

'Next! Come on we haven't got all day!'

"Good game."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"OMG, LOL!"

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Water is discovered on the moon....

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

'Those are the Divinity students.'

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

Shoe repair

Heaven

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

Life on cloud 8

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

"Sometimes I miss a good smiting."

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

New Years Reolutions

The Dark Side of the Moon.

"It's not just you, Reverend, we make it clear to everyone, we don't want any trouble up here."