Celestial Comedy Gifts

Halo Repair

My getting here was a very close call.

Angel sells lightning bolts.

Shoe repair

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Water is discovered on the moon....

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

Halo Frisbee.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"