Celestial Comedian Gifts

"That's it? Salesman of the month, August '87?"

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'See you next week Lazarus.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"Theologian? You guys are always fun."

An angel throws a lightning bolt towards Earth;Runs away when a missile comes towards him

"Wow, …. who does your voice-overs?"

I'd like to check my e-mail...

"I know it looks a little rough but we're having all the puffy stuff reupholstered this week."

"Welcome to heaven! Will that be cash or credit?"

'Anything good on tonight?'

Angel hitchhiker has sign: 'Bible Belt'

'Do you have a few minutes to discuss your retirement years, sir?'

"Well, to be honest, I try to avoid reunions - my first four husbands are here."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"The Lord overworks us in mysterious ways."

"That's how you get better WiFi."

"Hello, national security agency? Send me all you have on Walter J. Conklin."

"Yeah, Saint Peter here. I locked myself out again."

"Andy...Andy...I'm not finding...let me check my spam folder..."

"It lights up and vibrates when your judgement's ready."

"I can explain everything!"

"There's always one!"

"What the...no cell phone coverage?"

God takes his wrath out on PC.

Directions for Hell and Paradise.

'NASA announced today that photos taken by the Hubble Space Telescope confirm that when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie: That's Amore`.'

'Nobody likes a show-off, bub!'

Oberserving asteroids.

'He stole someone's identity.'

'Okay. Where's the fire?'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'Can you believe it? -- Now she's marrying the mortician!'