Celestial Comedians Gifts

An angel looks at a news box containing the "International Herald Tribune".

"It started as an out-of body experience but I forgot the password to get back in."

'I Hate summer.'

"So you can take it with you!"

'I've notices something very disturbing about asteroids...they look just like turds...very large turds...'

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

Angel Golf.

'How about hitting my wife's new boyfriend?'

God has an attack of vertigo

"He's a real cloud potato."

"Wow, I wish I'd thought of that! My last words were pretty naf."

"That's a nice touch!"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Houston, we have a problem."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Ghostwriting the Bible

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."