Celestial Satire Lover Pillows

'We haven't had a client in weeks - maybe we should make a promotional video.'

"Good game."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Vampire on a plane

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"Wait! First, his attorney."

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

'I miss the evildoers.'

"God lives in the eternal present. The gift that keeps on giving."

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

'It was a split decision.'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

And on the seventh day He rested

'Don't sweat it pal - you can always appeal. I'm a lawyer. I'd be happy to take on your case- pro bono, of course.'