Celestial Satire Gifts

"Frankly, your credit score concerns me."

"Are you even listening? I'm an arch-angel. There's no such thing as an investor angel!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

Water is discovered on the moon....

Christian and Born again Christian...

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Those are the Divinity students.'

Shoe repair

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

"No it's fine, really. I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

Heaven

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

Life on cloud 8

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"Sometimes I miss a good smiting."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

New Years Reolutions

'I miss the evildoers.'

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

"It's not just you, Reverend, we make it clear to everyone, we don't want any trouble up here."

"It's about all the treasure laid up here."