Celestial Satire Fan Gifts

"I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

'I'm not saying he's neurotic, but he has serious left-and-right hemisphere issues.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

"Well, isn't this just great? I told you this planet was in a sketchy neighborhood."

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"If you work hard, exploit your employees, take advantage of a pandemic, use loopholes to avoid taxes,hoard your wealth, and in an act of extreme self-indulgent meaningless vanity, you can someday be an astronaut."

God changes His will.

'What's the wi-fi like?'

'It was a split decision.'

"Astronomers say I don't have a 'dark' side. Tell that to my therapist."

'I miss the evildoers.'

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

". . . and now, the weather."

Basic Theology

A monk finds a little demon in the spine of his holy bible.

'They come down here to smoke.'

"The Lord has heard your prayers and has sent me to say unto you, shut up about it already."

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

Holy water cooler moments

'We haven't had a client in weeks - maybe we should make a promotional video.'