Cosmic Strategist Gifts

"Trump has his finger on the button..."

The truth about crop circles

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

Chiller Theatre

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

Zenemies.

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

How life on Earth really got its start.

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

Newton's Cradle Solar System

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"Uh-oh - climate change."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

Couple stargazing: 'Now a word from our sponsor...'

God with Earth Controller

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

Questions

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'