Celestial Strategist Gifts

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"First, I storyboarded it."

'Hmm...you've got a meteor shower to your right, space junk to your left and partial sun glare...I'd go with a number 7 thunderbolt if I were you.'

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

'Scientists, employed by the federal government, out of here! We will replace them, when elected, with feel-good astrologers!'

Possible Merger Talks

God lines up Siding Spring to pot Mars in the middle pocket.

Earth/billiard ball

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

A man looks up at the earth

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

'I think that's always how it's been!'

'Let's take a minute to allow the bad karma of the old regime to lift.'

'You needn't of bothered, it grows on trees up here.'

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

'You won't lose any more money. We're the first fund with a GPS tracking system.'

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

Valuation of Heaven

"Why should I feel small? I've just been put in charge of the whole Eastern region."

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

'I want to be the first person to land on the sun.'