Celestial Strategist T-Shirts

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"First, I storyboarded it."

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

'Scientists, employed by the federal government, out of here! We will replace them, when elected, with feel-good astrologers!'

Possible Merger Talks

God lines up Siding Spring to pot Mars in the middle pocket.

Earth/billiard ball

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

A man looks up at the earth

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

'I think that's always how it's been!'

'Let's take a minute to allow the bad karma of the old regime to lift.'

'You needn't of bothered, it grows on trees up here.'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

Valuation of Heaven

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

"Why should I feel small? I've just been put in charge of the whole Eastern region."

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

'I want to be the first person to land on the sun.'

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

Trojan Horse Threat.

" - This might work, but management will never approve it . . ."

'They're still ticked off about losing the cost-of-living allowance.'