Heavenly Strategist Gifts

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"This connect the dots is taking FOREVER!"

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

Rock champion (Rock, paper, scissors).

God's failing sales chart in evidence at meeting. God says 'Okay, any ideas?'

'Let's take a minute to allow the bad karma of the old regime to lift.'

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

Possible Merger Talks

"First, I storyboarded it."

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

'That's one hell of a lawyer.'

'I want to be the first person to land on the sun.'

Trojan Horse Threat.

Ok, I've set you up with an offshore back account, so you can hide your valuables for use after the oncoming apocalypse. You're too kind, sir. Where is it? Caymans? Switzerland? That's amateur stuff. The economy's increasingly global. When America goes down, it could take the Swiss and Cayman economies down with it. Then where – To open your account, I'll need your passport, tax returns, and a map of your genome. Bank of Deneb Prime. Trump turned me on to it.

" - This might work, but management will never approve it . . ."

God lines up Siding Spring to pot Mars in the middle pocket.

It appeals to pride,greed,lust, sloth and envy, but we're overlooking gluttony and avarice.'

Space force clocks.

You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers.

Ad Meeting With God.

"I think you are meant to delegate"

"This is Stan, He's helping us look beneath the surface of reality to transcendent truths, in order to make a buck."

'Talk about perennial doubt?'

Infernal Revenue Service

"With your rhetorical skills, young man, do you realize that you could become a mogul?"